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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Victor Wooten QUITS THE BASS!

Victor quit the bass? He sure did, so we did an exclusive interview to find out why he would do such a thing when he’s such a well-known bass player.

We called Victor a total of 27,745 times to get the scoop on this. He sent us a cease & desist letter instructing us to stop harassing him. We didn’t listen, so then we texted him 36,657 times (Verizon now hates us) until he finally gave in and got an interview. Here’s how that went:

BBG: DUDE! Why’d you quit the bass?

VW: A friend of mine recently turned me on to this thing called “heavy metal.” I had no idea what that was or what he was talking about, so I did some research and found that the bass is the WORST INSTRUMENT EVER for metal; I had to go with a different instrument.

BBG: Which instrument?

VW: The tuba.

BBG: Tuba?

VW: Yeah. You know, heavy metal… weighty brass… same thing.

BBG: Oh.

VW: Chicks dig tubas.

BBG: What inspired you to switch to the tuba?

VW: When I heard the song U Stink But I ♥ You, the tuba solo at 34 seconds in is just… incredible. So moving. So sonorous. So tuba.

BBG: Ah.

VW: The second solo at 1:03 is even better.

BBG: I’m sure.

VW: You wanna go to IHOP and get a western omelet?

BBG: Maybe later.

VW: Okay, whatever. More for me.

BBG: So, Vic…

VW: Don’t call me “Vic.” I freakin’ hate that.

BBG: Sorry. Mr. Wooten, what plans do you have now that you’re a tubist?

VW: I’m getting together with some friends and forming a new band.

BBG: Is there a name for this band?

VW: Yeah. “Jazz for Cows.”

BBG: Well! This certainly was enlightening. Thanks for your time.

VW: You sure you don’t wanna go to IHOP? I got coupons and everything.

BBG: Quite sure. Bye.

(Note: This interview is complete bullsh*t.)

12 thoughts on “EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: Victor Wooten QUITS THE BASS!”

    • Whaa? Not a bass player?!!!!!!!!!!! He’s not only a bass player but a soloist has perfect pitch and guaranteed if put up against a dork like you in a bass off would wipe the floor with your arrogant ass!. He can tune by ear I’ve seen it. He also is a fan of just holding a groove BTW. Whomever wrote that statement is narrow minded and, well, frankly an idiot!.. I’ve ran a $200,000 project recording studio, I’m friends with David Spidel of Martone (plays with Daniel Adair and toured with Satriani, whom by the way actually is a guitarist lol), I play bass, drums and guitar and have hung out with Tal Bachman (randy Bachmans son) so I’m not a noob to music. I couldnt believe what I read!?.. Ha ha some people. An instrument is an instrument and he did more for the bass than you EVER could bwahahahahahaa dumb ass!..

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