It’s time for a trip into the land of the weird. Well, maybe not weird but nonetheless a very interesting phenomenon that happens with certain bass players.
Certain players, should they pick up a bass that uses a pick guard (or scratch plate if you’re living across the pond) encounter scratching noises that come through the signal when they touch the guard. And yes, this happens even if the electronics are properly grounded, the pickups are wired correctly, the cable is new and the player is standing in an area that does not promote a static electrical charge.
The cause of this, as crazy as this sounds, is that the player himself may be “too conductive”.
“I’ve never heard of this, and you’re making it up.”
Believe me, it’s a real thing. When a luthier builds enough bass instruments, there will be that one guy or girl who when playing a bass guitar with a pick guard that encounters scratch-like noises (which sound similar to when an output jack starts to go bad) just by touching the plastic. It is the capacitance of the individual that’s actually causing the noises to happen when in physical contact with the guard.
“Is there are fix for this?”
Yes and no.
The easiest solution for a “super conductive” type of person is to simply play a bass guitar that does not use a pick guard. The drawback is, of course, that the player may not want to use anything but a bass with a pick guard on it.
Another option is to use a guard made from aluminum. This has a high success rate but the drawback is again a style issue, as some players just don’t like the look of aluminum guards.
Yet another option is to have the player stand on a rubber mat similar to the kind seen in office cubicles to decrease static build-up from running a chair on wheels over a carpet.
And yet another option – which oddly enough is a Fender-recommend “solution” – is to wipe the pick guard with a dryer sheet first before playing the instrument. But obviously this will scratch up the guard quickly as that sheet is an abrasive.
“You’re telling me *nobody* has come up with a fix for this yet?”
That’s exactly what I’m saying. The fix doesn’t exist because the phenomenon is so rare. “Super conductive” individuals exist; some are bass players and well, they have big-time issues playing bass guitars with pick guards because they’ll always encounter scratchy noises whenever they touch one when the bass is plugged in; that’s just the way it is.
None of the solutions listed above are guaranteed to work 100%. However if you ever encounter a “super conductive” person, well, at least you have a few options to try and take care of the problem.
How about wearing a ground strap on their leg like many electronic lab techs?
I disagree that there’s “nothing” that can be done about this. I had a stratocaster-type guitar with this problem and it drove me nuts. Obviously my hand brushing the plastic pickguard generated static electricity. I fixed it by putting conductive copper foil on the entire underside of the pickguard.
I had this problem with my Lakland Joe Osborn and my Bob Glaub Skyline basses fitted with a ‘minted white’ pickguard. It must have been the material from which they were made because when I fitted a Fender guard to the JO and a tortoiseshell to the BG the problem went away.
Put a few drops of Downy fabric softener in a cup of clean water let it dry rock on!
When I decided to customize my bass, I had an aluminum pick guard made that was powder-coated semi-gloss black. Looks great, and works great as a shield.